I want to be Dommed so badly.

STOP! Don’t go for the add button yet!

Liiiisten!!

If you’re a Dom that maps my emotional landscape before tracking my physical one… continue reading.

If not, I’ll bore you soon enough.

But god forbid a girl wants to be dominated.

I know I have a strong bratty personality, yes I can Domme. And while we’re discussing what I want: not humiliation, not degradation. If that’s your thing, you do you, I ✨support✨ you with every fibre of my being. But that’s not my preference at time of posting.

So listen up,

I’m tired of driving. I’m tired of managing the room, tracking everyone’s arousal, staying three steps ahead so I feel safe.

I want someone to see that I’m exhausted and take the wheel.

Not because I can’t drive, but because I’ve been driving alone for a very long time.

The thing living rent free in my head.

Like John Berger’s Ways of Seeing episode 4. Men act, women appear. Women watch themselves being watched. Surveyed and surveyor. Judge and prosecutor.

Stop telling me my physical manifestation is pleasant. Tell me I’m sharp and hilarious.

This body will decompose in a non-sexy way anyway. She’s temporary. Like a hot fudge sunday on a summer’s day. Stop seeing her and SEE ME.

…and scene. Now where was I?

Oh yeah, so I’m tired man, I’m tired of regulating the room, I’m tired of bracing and managing men’s arousal around me. I’m really fecking tired of steering this ship, and I’m ready to hand over the wheel, surrender control and just enjoy the ride. You feel me?

But I can’t do that with just anyone can I? (see aforementioned John Berger reference).

-How do I know I can give you my autonomy?

-How do I know you’ll respect safe words?

-How do I know I’m safe with you and you’ll see my mind and not just my body for your pleasure?

I need trust, homie…

And trust isn’t established in one conversation is it? Thats not trust, thats a verbal agreement based on goodfaith.

Trust isn’t a verbal agreement.

So while we’re here let’s talk building trust, what I mean when I say that is not ‘as a Sub I want to earn your trust’. I’m saying I want you to give me reason to feel safe with you. That kind of trust isn’t built through me complying with the Dom’s demands because I need to earn the Dom’s trust.

So yeah, I need to feel seen before I feel held. Not my body. Me. The thing underneath the body. The control I’m handing over needs to land somewhere solid, not somewhere that needs me to validate it first.

And trust isn’t built through me complying with your demands so I can earn your trust. Lol like what? Fever dream fr.

You’re the Dom bestie. You’re the one in the position of power. I’m already significantly smaller than you. I’m a marshmallow. Soft, white, structurally questionable.

Like why do you need me to show you can trust me to let you overp0wer me in a roleplay scenario? I don’t need to earn your trust so you can feel safe, you want my commitment for longterm fun, you want to know if I’ll be worth your time, I want to know I’ll be safe with you when I’m at your mercy. I think our definitions of trust here are vastly different and to me the logic is backwards.

I don’t build trust by complying. If anything, it’s the opposite.

So correct me if I’m wrong, BDSM cummunity:

The Dom is not above the dynamic.

The Dom is in service to it.

You are holding something fragile.

If you drop it, you don’t get to say “well it should have trusted me more.”

Control is not taken. It’s given. And if it’s given, it has to feel safe to give.

I like dominance.

Just not the kind that has to announce itself every five minutes. Or come with a CV and a terrifyingly detailed penis measurement.

I want a Dom who commands space with presence alone. Calm, collected, strategic. Who observes me, collects data on me, knows how to push my buttons before he ever touches them.

A Dom that maps my emotional landscape before he starts tr.acking my physical one.

BDSM is all about mentality. So why do Performative Doms keep going for the body?

I’ll only call you Daddy since you disappoint me like a father